Story of My Life

“If I profane with my unworthiest hand
This holy shrine, the gentler sin is this;
My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand
To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.”

autumn mckenzie

The dim lights cast an amber glow over the masked party-goers. Jewels glittered in and out of the tapestry of opulence; the crowd undulated meaninglessly around the young couple framed in the hard-edged spotlight. The fire in the boy’s eyes, the heat on the girl’s skin; not a detail underplayed, every molecule of oxygen between ignited. The energy thrummed like twin heart beats, the conversational distance closed; claustrophobia, acceleration. The kiss. The collective intake of breath in the packed auditorium hissed upward from the stalls to the balcony. This was Romeo and Juliet; the legendary star crossed lovers almost close enough to touch. Almost real enough to believe in.

“Five stars,” heralded the Matinee.

“The most talked about Shakespeare adaption,” proclaimed the Evening Stage.

“Outstanding!” enthused the Muse in bold capitals on the second page. “Holden Bernardo and Autumn Starling are flawless in the title roles. Undoubtedly some of the most sensational romantic drama in theatres this decade!”

Rave reviews. Articles. Fawning. Hearsay. Autumn, the much acclaimed Juliet, threw down the paper she had been pursuing and stormed out of her dressing room.

“Holden!” she hammered furiously on the next dressing room door. “I know you’re in there you lousy –”

The door opened and Romeo, between costumes, leaned out; a bored, slightly scornful expression on his face. Autumn angrily suppressed the treacherous lurch in her stomach; the inexplicable desire to let this be and forget why she had come.

“I wouldn’t believe you’d do this to me!” she began in an angry undertone. “Or maybe I would! You –”

“What?” Holden asked. His poise was indolent but his eyes were bright; his voice layered with mock irritation. “Did I stand in your spotlight again?”

“You told them!” Autumn’s voice was dangerously near to a screech, she hastily moderated it. “You told them all we broke up!”

Holden raised a sardonic eyebrow. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh please!” scoffed Autumn. The mock sincerity too convincing, despite everything, Autumn grudgingly had to admit that Holden was a brilliant actor; but if he had one flaw it was a tendency to overplay his role. “You, and me, and Tia were the only ones who knew,” she continued breathily. “And Tia isn’t the kind of opportunistic, ass-licking user who would do that kind of thing for the publicity. Just let me think who is!”

Holden shrugged and said nothing, his face contemptuously inscrutable. It was all the conformation, and all the provocation Autumn needed.

“I dumped you because I wanted to focus on my acting!”

“And I stopped you?”

“Somebody had to be the professional!” Autumn could hear her voice, as though it were somebody else’s, escalating dangerously once again, but this time she didn’t care. Blood pounded in her head, she couldn’t remember when a single living person had last caused her such explosive irritation.

“I dumped you because I was tired of all of those magazines prying into my personal life. Maybe that was what you liked. And now you’ve –”

“Three articles,” interjected Holden, rolling his eyes. “I hate to tell you but you’re not that significant. We weren’t that significant.”

Rage bubbled and expanded painfully in Autumn’s chest; like bubbles in a can of soda.

“People were starting to doubt that we could act!” she hissed. “It would have been bad for the show! We’re not Romeo and Juliet!”

“Did you ever really think that was what we where?” Holden’s sneer was amused; his dark eyes danced wickedly in the unshakeable too-calm face. Autumn flinched as if she had been scalded; made an angry lunge forward, stopping herself only just in time. Dropping her hand, she reflected that hitting a co-star might well get her dropped from the production not to mention agitating the hornet’s nest of gossip in the world of theatre and in various magazines about their break-up. Besides, she wouldn’t give Holden the satisfaction, and there was the fact that he was a whole head taller than her to consider. Autumn breathed heavily, burning her ex through the sheer force of her glare.

“You dumped me,” Holden continued lightly. “Because I told you I’m quitting next season. Because I’m going to America, and your ego couldn’t take the reality that I wasn’t going to stick around for you!” For the first time he sounded angry, but his anger was cold, measured. “Grow up, Autumn.”

“You’re right,” spat Autumn, her icy tones matching his. “You’re ruining the production. You’re leaving everyone behind. All because you want to go be in films, and see your face on the cover of a movie. What ever made you think that I could have ever cared about you! It was fun, Holden, but that was all. I’m not going to be associated with you outside of this show. I mean it! Let go!”

“You could always take me back.” He replied lightly, half smiling that smile that took Autumn in almost as much as it enraged her. An arch smile on the midpoint between mockery and sincerity. Autumn spun on her heel and began to walk away, not wanting him to see how perilously close to tears she was.

“You only went out with me because you liked the attention!” Holden shouted after her.

Autumn flung herself around.

“Get over me, Holden.” It was her acting voice; hard, unforgiving, heartless. Turning away, Autumn crushed a treacherous tear with the heel of her hand.

Holden Blaise

The flight landed into the airport. New York city looked so much smaller from the sky. The plane could barely contain all of Holden’s dreams. The city, with its amplitudinous skyscrapers and gold-plated hotels, represented all of what Holden had hoped for: fame, freedom, peace, and love. Well, wait……. he already had love back in England. Autumn had to get over the fact that he left though. Sure, she had dumped him, but everyone knew that she never wanted to let go of him. Holden could have her on her knees in minutes, begging him to come back with just a few simple words. However, he didn’t want to harm his Juliet; if only she could move on from his smile, his delicate touch, his warm embrance. Altough she appeared repulsed by his very presence, Holden knew much better. Autumn flipped her auburn locks in exuberent delight when he was around, her emerald eyes popped open in need to absorb every iota of his being. Just the thought of those eyes lingering on his……..wait I need to stay focused on work, thought Holden, lashing out on his mind. No more time for little Autumn, she would just hold me back.